This afternoon I spent about an hour, chatting with my friend over the phone. She told me about her bizarre love story - her boyfriend is a psycho! The story actually bring back some awful memories, to the time when I was in my 2nd year. I was in love with this man that was so great, did so many things for me, treated me like a princess, we had common interests, it was easy and fun. His name is F. Yes, F for FUKKER. HAHAH..I loved this guy for 3 years. For 6 months it was bliss, but then the problems started, and it got worst and worst. My ex had a history of problems, bad relationship and abuse but he seemed so nice, especially for the first 6 months when it seemed like all the cliche movie "the one true love" stuff came true. Then next, I found my life was a living hell.
He argued with me almost every day, sometimes cursing me out and insulting me without any provocation for hours and hours. I've been lied to constantly, manipulated constantly, on a level so intense I didn't even notice until I found his diary. Oh, man. He still keep in touch with ALL his ex-es (ada ke such word?). And this is bukan-cinta-biasa ok? He spent a lot of money and time talking over the phone, and bersiar-siar menghirup udara segar di taman larangan everytime balik cuti, siap boleh goreng cakap aku sunggoh tak memahaminya-kasihanilah-daku - gila apa dia ni???
I can still remember the times when I spent almost every night crying, sometimes waking up thinking about all the things he did. It hurts. I was like walking on eggshells. There would always be promises to change, "im going to change, I love you, your the one for me, i'm never going to hurt you again" and afterwords when I took him back it got worst and worst. Every time I tried to break it off he would come crying, saying he will injure or kill himself. And I tell you, he even cut his wrist in front of me once. And being trapped in a sehati-sejiwa-sehidup-semati world, I came back. It happened again and again where I would always come back, and sometimes the next day or even the next hour the abuse would continue.
I wish I could rewind time, because I wish I never met him! He is a type of person who could be so nice, supportive one minute and such a crazy, mean, person the next. And I mean really CRAZY. Gila babi type. I wish he would not be psycho, creating stories up saying things about me that are not true like beromen dengan dia kat kitchen. Hoih! Kalau dah bengang tak dapat romen aku, tak yah la nak buat citer. Romen kat dapur lak tu. Kat tepi tong gas?? Sunggoh tak berkelas.
I can't believe how good he was at manipulating me, and all how could someone be nice, great,loving, sweet, one hour and a complete aggressive creep the next, when nothing happened within that hour? Sometimes I wonder why do people have the capacity to be so sick, so twisted, cruel, one minute so nice, funny the next minute a looney tune that is cursing, yelling and spitting in my face, the face he claimed was the most beautiful face he had ever seen. I have broken up with him finally in early 1998. I've been keeping busy, doing everything I wanted, and mostly I'm doing good, but when I remember everytihng I've been through it makes me depressed.