I am currently not at my heaviest weight for I have been in a state of big blob so much when I was 18-19 yrs old. And I mean VERY fat, (should I put a picture of the old Diana here? Naaahhh..) it makes me insecure. But I must say I am not as bad as I used to be though. Someone said that I am voluptious, but for me that is just another way of saying "you look a bit plump", in a NICE way. I do have flabs here and there okeyy. But, like my other half said "what do you expect? you are a mother". I expect you to gain some weight also la sayang. Aku ni dah macam dipam-pam. My goal is to be the same girl I was before, I mean the time when I was so slender. Bulehkah aku?? Berangan mungkin buleh. Jadi, teruskan berangan kerana berangan adelah free. Whatever it is, I know what I really need to realize is that no matter your size, personality counts! Kalau muka MACAM cun tapi perangai SAH macam babi gred C takyah cerita la kan. But hey..I know I’m fat and ugly, I won’t lie when you ask what I think of myself I will tell you I’m an ugly fat ass..hohoho (gelak orang gemuk)
AFRAID OF A COMPLETE STRANGER
I am so worry about someone or should I say some pig headed person gawking and staring at me. Why must you look at someone in a stupid and rude way? Ko bagus sangat aper. Before, I did put so much trust on people, but for some reasons, not anymore. I can't really trust people. I am not sure why but I just won't let myself. There are these walls built up, and maybe no one can knock them down. Maybe. I know it's not right tapi ape ko pedulik, suka aku la.
SICK OF LIES
I can stand people who I don't really close to, telling lies to me. But I do have problem with people whom I so chummy with keeping things from me and it hurts me! I am not a big baby okeyy? Stop thinking that I will get upset over something that you think is no big deal. Aku pun ada otak la, dan otak aku bukan kat bontot. Please la, if I'm supposed to be so important to you, then treat me nicely boley?
I always feel ignored, and that no one is listening to what I’m saying, here in this dull company with a brainless boss (jangan la org tua tu baca ni, harus aku mampos skang jugak) Did I annoy anyone here by being in their presence and that they don’t like me? As far as I remember no. But, maybe...HAHHAHAHA. I am not that bad laa, don't get me wrong, but like I wrote in my previous post, I just being clever in a cruel way. Oh! Berlagaknya saya. If you can't accept the truth of what I already said to you (bukan aku je cakap, hek), takyah le guna cara kawankawan-mari-kita-pulaukan-dia. Itu adelah yo-yo-o namanya. Before this, I felt left out of that group (that CREAM group..oh, my!!!), and left out of something that other people I know are a part of, and I seem to be unable to be a part of it. Seem that they walked into the door and slammed it on my face. Now, aku dah tak kuasa beb. Time kasih la, aku tak bercita-cita untuk menjadi KIMAK bersama-sama anda.
PROCRASTINATING SO MUCH LATELY
I just realized that lately, I tend to procrastinate a lot, especially when it comes to office work. It’s such a hard habit to break free from. This new 'practice' occurs recently by reason of stress like hell I am having everytime I look at my big boss's face. Ko buat BP aku naik sialll. Mengapa kau diciptakan Tuhan sebagai manusia, bukankah lebih baik jika kau menjadi binatang? (ini P.Ramlee cakap, bukan aku). But I am aware of my procrastination, so I just got a pop-up reminder on my laptop (dulu aku takde software ni la hampass) and I am writing and completeing
to-do list. Hopefully I will be cured. I record everything I need to do so that important things get done on time (hopefully) and nothing has a chance to sneak up on me KECUALI bergossip di Subhani. Kan dah, tetiba je aku terasa nak minum teh ais. Mamak is simply irresistable. Hoi! Apa ko meraban ni?????
IMPROVING MY TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS
I have 2 issues each of Reader's Digest, Cleo and one Cosmopolitan to be read, but somehow I couldn't find a space to fit this into my already jammed schedules! My current routines are pack with office work! Gaji kalau seploh ribu takpe. Manjang je urgent. I haven't decide yet what to do with this but sure enough, I need to take a careful rearrangement of current commitments and responsibilities so as to move aside things that are less important and make room for reading..:). Caranya : benti keje, jual nasik lemak.
WAITING FOR A RIGHT TIME TO KISS SOMEONE IN THE RAIN
Of course I'll make it out with the most handsome guy who is so in love with me iaitu Leslie Cheung. What could be better? Imagine...with the rain falling down on my face and I am wet, his lips are dripping with water, and mine are ready. Suddenly, it is quiet. It waits for my kiss in the rain. It waits. It waits. It waits....HOI! Apa ko berangan ni. Gilaaaa...ape ko nak mampossss??? But don't you feel it’s amazing? I think everyone should do it at least once. Jom bang. Musim hujan skang ni.
HAVING NO REGRETS
I used to regret a lot. But, come to think of it, we only get this one chance at life, and there’s no point wasting it regretting things. Looking back, I have made some stupid choices and decisions, but if I think further about them, if I had done things differently, then I wouldn’t be where I am today, living the life I have. So perhaps I wouldn’t do things the same again, but who is to say the alternative would have been any better? But who can predict if one day I may regret something? So, don't think too much about what is about to happen and what has happened. Just lead the life with S.M.I.L.E with a teeth showing *wink*
WORKING SO HARD TO EXPAND MY VOCAB
Reading has always been a fun way to learn new words or see them used in new ways. And that explains why I love reading and my online dictionary and thesaurus so much. Aku ni tak study oversea cam kau..vocab gila best. Jadi aku pun merasa jeles. Oleh sebab itu aku pun ingin menjadi seterer kau walaupun aku sedar aku tak seberapa Spanish. Tapi aku rasa kespanishan itu tidak lah perlu, kerana aku ada tempias2 jawa, bunyik jawa itu akan ada juga walaupun aku dispanishkan. *ahemmmm, tersedak la pulak*
One of the way to gain respect from people mahupun binatang is to fancy up your vocab. And that’s what I’m doing but the tricky part is to actually remember all the new words I come across. Dah la aku ni benak sikit. Lupa saje. So, ade sesaper nak bagi aku tusyen free??
When it comes to listening to music, I get this desire to sing along no matter who is around. But, I think I’m one of those individuals that have been curse with a horrible voice. Ok, hubby aku suruh aku senyap and tido. Bye.